I NEVER wanted to be the mother whose “baby daddy” can always have sex with. Before I ever became a mother, I remember speaking to one of my male friends and he confirmed that sleeping with the baby mother can easily happen “BECAUSE” she’s the mother of their child (his experience confirmed that too, with BOTH of his children’s mothers). That was actually a common theme I’ve heard about baby momma/daddy situations. They share that special bond and are emotionally connected in that way. So here’s the myth: It’s a given that that’s going to happen…especially when visiting their child -_-
Well I’ll be the 1st to admit that I fell victim to that bullshit too! But on the flip side, I’m thankful because my 2nd son was the result! It ONLY took 2 times for me to say we’re not doing that!! At that point, I made a REAL decision because if he wanted to see his child, NO MORE HOME VISITS! & just like that, I LAID THE LAW DOWN! I didn’t trust my thinking or emotions as they get “cloudy” when the juices start flowing. So this LAW WAS NECESSARY while I was thinking clearly!! 😉
I have a stubborn yet confident personality so I didn’t make it convenient for him especially since I was living out of state too! But the decision also came from me BEING A SINGLE PARENT. That meant EXACTLY WHAT IT STANDS FOR…A SINGLE PARENT. How dare this man think that you can just easily be without child yet still get the same perks/benefits that got us in this situation with a baby??!! Because then I’m DIRECTLY showing him that it’s OK to STRAIGHT DISRESPECT, SLAP ME IN THE FACE, INSULT ME & I’M WEAK. Essentially, I’m asking for this treatment because I’m giving him an open invitation… I’m ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME!! DAMN…I hate feeling powerless!! It was my decision to have a baby but NOT to be with him anymore due to the lies, cheating that he’s done while in a “relationship” with me.
I’m a single mother by choice (with my 1st son) but not a fucking mother to have at your convenience/horniess. No more visits from out of state and saying you’re here to see your child so now you need to stay over for a couple of days “since it was a 4hr commute” -_- !! BUT WHY YOU’RE TRYING TO SLEEP IN THE BED WITH ME THOUGH??! Take your ass in another room!!
Mothers, it’s time to lay your law down too! Make it really difficult so that you can not only create the space needed to lesson his efforts of trying to pursue you, but make it solely about the best interests of your child(ren). This is all about raising your self value and your worth so that he knows who he’s dealing with!! Sex is good for that MOMENT…but then you still have to deal with feeling used, taking for granted, someone he can do whatever without any consequences, and have him manipulate the situation.
HOWEVER, DON’T EVER prevent the father from seeing his child(ren)…That’s not my suggestion so let me make that clear. I ALWAYS kept the same number and ALWAYS answered phone calls. I EVEN made the commute to his state more times that he’s visited me throughout the years and ALWAYS contacted him to spend time with his children. So by doing so, it really shows one’s “true” colors… Are you only interested in seeing the child(ren) because you get to have sex? Because then you’re a waste of a dad!!
No more victims to this bullshit!! Be STRONG AND lock your vaginas and NEVER allow access again! He’s not worth it because you’ll be an emotional wreck trying to get him to be in your child(ren)’s lives while he still gets to use you!  Don’t be the receiver of the repeat offender. I’ve been there 1 time too many and now I remain a single parent with 2 boys…1 son planned and another son on purpose (when you choose unprotected sex)!  Stay strong…