Why must there be an accepted viewpoint or perspective of what it’s like being a single parent? I’m here to bring a refreshing new outlook on what it’s like not just being a single parent,but being an EXTRAORDINARY single mom! I have 8yrs of being on this journey so I have some credibility based on the lifestyle I’ve lived and I want to offer a positive outlook. And just to note, there is MORE derogatory and negative information on the internet (including YouTube) so I want to be a part of the few who are contributing and voicing the possibilities while also encouraging and uplifting the single moms in the world!
So let me just dispel, in my point of view, this constant response I’m annoyed with: Being a single mom is ‘HARD”!. In fact, that was the 1st memory I had while out in public for the 1st time with my newborn. While in the waiting room, a lady approached me and said, ” Aww, is that your 1st? It must be hard for you.” I was puzzled and in disbelief…rather her congratulating me, she AUTOMATICALLY assumed “HARDSHIP’.
Well let me just say, I don’t believe it’s hard…just DIFFERENT. The only way it’s considered hard, is if you have the same mentality of shared responsibilities–having the father around and EXPECTING NOT to do it all by yourself. BUT with the right perspective, you can understand that it takes WILL POWER and the YOU DO IT ALL attitude. Let me put it in proper context why being a single mom is different:
No arguments to have about who will do what because it’s just you to rely on for cleaning, changing diapers, cooking, entertaining, transporting, shopping, etc. So get whatever is needed done and your kids will be there keeping you company the entire time!
Your priorities are your children and you spend most of your time catering to them!
Social life? Wait, you have responsibilities…so unless your kids are able to accompany you, you’ll only be engaging in kid-friendly activities (for the most part)
Enjoying sleeping in or restful mornings? Not a chance! Becoming sick? No time for that…your kids needs still come before yours.
Canceled plans are to be expected…but don’t fret because getting to enjoy quiet times when the kids are asleep is very refreshing!
You Do It All…YES, YOU DO IT ALL!
It might sound a bit overwhelming but that’s been my life and still currently is with some regards to certain areas! As you enter into this new space in your life, I like to term it, “NEW NORMAL”. You will get adjusted and accustomed to this lifestyle (not sure when exactly) but the mistake you’ll make is comparing it to someone with help! And luckily kids do become independent, so they’re able to help out at around 4yrs old. So just remember, don’t let a season of non-existent help make you feel as if this is never ending!