Yes I said it, DOING IT ALL! It’s a choice! It’s a standard that you need to set to live your life by. So regardless if you’ve been married, separated, divorced, widowed, or a single parent from the start, etc…. whatever circumstances that led you to this life journey, there’s STILL a declaration that needs to be made internally. YOU CAN DO IT ALL & STILL LOOK FABULOUS! (I’ve done it and so that makes it possible!) 😉
We must agree, there ARE many women who CAN handle raising children and have been raising children alone for decades. But I mean for the ones who take it a step further: to gracefully and courageously make no apologies for this commitment. The commitment of getting what needs to be taken care of DONE without any excuses…PERIOD. I have found that there were necessary skills for me to acquire in order to save on time and money. You have to find a way to ensure your children and yourself are well taken care of and definitely looking presentable once you leave your home. There should be set standards that you have so that you can promote confidence, self/family respect, and a positive image for yourself and family. Being extraordinary takes work and I’ve realized that I have to do things selflessly in order to make room in other areas like saving up for any unexpected emergencies or even creating experiences for my family.
Mommy’s Bathroom Hair/Nail/Makeup Salon…& Even Mommy’s Barbershop!
So you’re probably thinking, “What do I mean by doing it all selflessly and being fabulous??!” Let me start by saying you have to make the effort to take care of yourself first. Also if you don’t have the financial means like I didn’t at the time, you have to say OK, I’m giving up on going to the beauty salon because with one income, it’s not just about me anymore. That money can be used towards other priorities/necessities like savings, food, rent, outings, etc. Also time was scarce to expend on beauty salons so I was not going to entertain the hassle of going there. In the beginning with a newborn that was a challenge…I remember the most I could do was keep my hair in a bun! I didn’t have any energy from being sleep deprived to do anything more…not even wash my hair! It was neatly pulled back into a bun (most times) and no one ever knew it wasn’t combed out (a trick I learned). You don’t have to look “posh” but don’t look worn out either!!
That was the start of how I maintained my fabulous appearance! I just cut the middle step out of delegating that responsibility to professionals and learned through repetition. I sure did! I bought a head dryer, hair products, and then there was the InStyler that came out. It was the best hair styling ever and I was super impressed with it! I never had to stress over appointments, finding a sitter, or setting money aside for that expense. That was about $200/mo if going every 2wks I saved just by doing it myself. Then I finally did the big chop! (1st time after having kids but I’ve done it before). 🙂
Next was my nails. I was never big on manicures or pedicures before kids so it wasn’t a big deal when I had kids. I simply cut and polished my nails myself. However, between washing bottles and dishes (without gloves), I had so many splits on my finger tips. My main concern was keeping my hands lotioned and nails trimmed evenly. Also I considered the maintenance on polish nails once they started peeling. I refused to walk around with chipped nails and have to worry about repainting my nails every couple of days. Too consuming.
Now my feet were a different story!! I was not even worried about a pedicure because my feet was covered! The only time I was concerned was during the times when I wore open toe sandals. Then of course I had the pumise stone, razor peeler, nail clipper ready to go to work and make a miracle happen on my feet! LOL
& finally my face. My make up consisted of foundation, eyebrows (that’s a must have for me lol), and eyeliner…that’s it! 1,2,3 I put it on and WHA LA! A brand new person I became. I’m really simple with my approaches but I just know how to have a POP effect without doing too much.
When it comes to my kids, I also learned how to cut my sons’ hair because every wk, that meant taking time to drive to the barber, waiting, and we all know time is so valuable! I prefer being in the comfort of my own home that way I’m able to multi task and get more done (like put something to cook or bake in the oven). I kept my youngest hair long because I enjoyed braiding hair…that was my outlet and he liked his hair braided too (so no struggles there)!
WARDROBE…Sales, Clearance, & Sibling Hand Me Downs!
Fashion! I’m from NY so it’s engraved in me to dress to impress. Well let me just say I had to put more emphasis on what looks good vs name brands. You don’t have to spend hundreds to achieve trendy looks but I’m not talking about wearing cheap materials/fabrics that get worn out easily either. For example: you can actually buy 6 items instead of 2 with just $100. My favorite stores are Forever21, Target, H&M, & Charlotte Rouse.
I love Target so that’s primarily my go to store for kids clothes. But from time to time, I do shop at Walmart, Old Navy, & H&M… especially clearance & sale clothes! It warms my heart when I find in season deals $5 & under on the clearance racks!! & I do buy my kids clothes 1size bigger to give them room to grow. Not fitted or extra baggy but not too look sloppy either. I only buy clothes once they get too small or holey. I only pass some clothing down to my youngest but I like him to have his own (to be an individual).
I once heard a powerful truth: you can always change your state of being by moving HOW you want to feel. In other words, if you want to feel, look, & exude fabulous, DO fabulous worthy causes to bring you to that state of being!! Walk, Talk, & Act like the Fabulous Single Mom you are!! 😉